We have exciting news to share! We finalized a major investment partnership with a very strong group of Salvadoran partners to dramatically grow and improve the Brew Revolution for El Tunco and El Salvador. With the new team we can finally expand to meet the crazily increasing demand for our beer both in El Salvador and internationally. The team is investing tremendously to grow and improve operations, quality control, logistics and marketing. A few of the exciting things that the new team will be focusing on include: growing the brand internationally and exporting our beers throughout Latin America and the United States and refocusing our efforts and promotion to make El Tunco even more world famous. Nanelle and I will be focused on developing the international markets, especially the U.S. We will be relocating to San Diego, CA to head up the sales efforts there. We will still be returning periodically to our beloved El Salvador to help develop new beers, spearhead the expansion and branding. But we will be living in Coronado, CA (still blocks from the beach!) while the team here handles operations. The Brew beers will remain the same even as we continue to release new seasonals. And as our capacity and quality increases even more we will be available in many more locations in El Salvador. So get ready to ROCK El Salvadoran Craft Beer fans. The future is bright!

What's Up El Salvador - American expat woman living in El Salvador, Central America

This may be a strange complaint, and also a useless one. It may be a symptom of an over-priveledged and extremely distracted life. It could just be that I dont get out enough.

I miss wierdos

I have become unable to recognize people I dont know. I have begun to want to do strange things in public just to see the look of alarm. Im pretty young to get the dementia, but it does run in my family.

Andy often complains that El Salvador collectively likes to “keep a lid on it”. Its  pretty respectable place. There are only glimmerings of “alt-culture” much less the sort of “post-alt” general relaxedness where you no longer have to pierce your whole face to fit in on the outside.

That´s right….i just said, “fit in on the outside”

(but deny its true…I dare you)

A smart lady that I like very much, once compared San Salvador to a High School Senior class where nobody wants to stand out, and cliques mean more than you would expect. I have yet to wriggle into the city enough to know if this is true.

What I do know is that I miss the kind of competitive strangeness of the Bay Area. This iswhy I fell so in love with the potential of “La Resistancia”, which turned out to be a really really good entrance for TVX, which is rightly branded by some as “That hipster station”.

Yes its a hipster station, and is in fact a bit restrained. Restrained because it is obligated to be cool. Which is fine by me. Its still pretty good for the type of project it is, and I expect to like watching it develop.

This reminds me of a story I told my children. In the darkest days of 1987 I was sitting in a drum circle with a semi-attractive young man and his musician friends who were furiously critizing a former bandmate. Apparently he had “sold out”. My companion burst forth with a rare and treasured moment of wisdom

“I wish I was good enough to sell out” 

 Truer words are rarely spoken. This is an old story so all of my family knows it.

What's Up El Salvador - American expat woman living in El Salvador, Central America

There are quite a few great places to eat and drink in El Tunco, and it seems, that in spite of the town’s small size, and relaxed atmosphere there are more every month. I can see that the town is growing, and also that there are some built in limitations to how fast, or how big things here will get. I’m glad for both the growth and the limitations. Since I’m part of the growth I hope that the positive effects are the main ones.

We have yet to really completely move, and to fully assemble a kitchen. We are a boom to local restaurants. I wanted to share some info about a few of them, since one of my favorite thing to do is to talk about food.

Typicos is available at “The smaller stands”:  There is several food stands along both of the main streets. Some have signs, some do not. Some are clearly small businesses, others look very very open side yards, with a cook top at the ready at all times. I have eaten at most of them now. For the novice traveler to the region your first concern is most likely food safety. I have not gotten sick at any of them, and if you want an inexpensive meal that you don’t make yourself, I recommend these little stands as sort of a broad class. I am sorry if there are specific names to each one. I still have an North American eye and fail to catch very clear local signage. In the US, if it is not lit with neon, and is less than four feet across we don’t see it.

If you are tired of typicos and want some pizza, there is a very good pizzeria on the main entrance road on the right side as you come in. Veloz serves thin crust pizza made from good ingredients, in a very inviting atmosphere where you could easily sit and talk way too late. The prices are not low, but the quality is good, there is plenty of parking, and the service is friendly. This business has a good following of young people from San Salvador in search of a tasty pizza in a stylish spot.

If you are looking for very tasty Pasta, I recommend the restaurant at Hotel Mopelia. Each of the pasta dishes served here are excellent, the portions are big, and the prices are fair. In El Salvador it is not easy to find a great bowl of pasta. My husband’s favorite is the Pasta Mopelia. This restaurant also features amazing Belgian waffles. The seating is open and spacious.

OF course I cannot fail to mention that in front of Hotel Mopelia you will find a gourmet coffee shop and Microbrewery. My very own Brew Revolution is right there on the entrance road, so for hand poured coffee, cold brew coffee, Excellent locally crafted beer, and nachos,  look no further. (shameless…yes).

If you need Chinese Takeout, “take a wok” is also located on the Mopelia lot. They will be open next week, and I cannot wait to see how they do!

When it is hot, and you are exhausted from travel, some yogurt, fruit smoothies and healthy granola might help you out. The orange building two doors down and across the street from Mopelia holds SOYA, and their smoothies are the bomb. I like the Pineapple express with yogurt. They also have good salads. There is also a doctor’s office int his building (good to know if you are on a road trip) And it is next door to the local police station (hopefully you wont need to know that)

Moving on down the main entrance road you will see two mini stores. If you have trouble approaching the little tiendas that line the road further up (hey…some shy north-Americans do), these slightly higher priced mini-marts are great. On this road there are a couple buildings under construction. I hear that one will be a salad bar, and the other a gourmet cocktail bar, featuring locally made liquors.

At the end of the street you will see two great BBQ places. This is just the entrance road.On the main beach road there are great tacos, sandwiches, a higher end Salvadoran Grill, awesome ceviche, ice cream, and Tacos Guanacos.

What I am trying to let you know, is that there is a wide range of great food at this tiny beach. Its a great place to take a walk to decide where you would like to eat, and enjoy your choice. Since part of my mission moving here is to save money, I will need to be very very careful!

What's Up El Salvador - American expat woman living in El Salvador, Central America

After spending a little more than four months living in El Tunco, I thought I would enjoy the process of moving back to San Salvador. I was anxious to get away from the mosquito population at the house we rented (next door to an open abandoned swimming pool I referred to as the dengue factory)

Andy had no interest in moving. From his perepctive he had got us into a house that made his life easier. He could walk to the brewery, and the rent was less than half what we were paying before. He could hire a local babysitter for Emme…all good. Sure, there is no washing machine, but I can do ok with a pila. Sure, there is no TV, or WIFI and he had no plans to install either, but there is plenty to do at the beach.

What's Up El Salvador - American expat woman living in El Salvador, Central America

Every USA expat here has probably experienced an initial misunderstanding about what grocery store clerks are talking about when you walk up to the line. It´s the language trouble here, but the cultural one that causes the confusion.

“Solo Ticket?”

You dont need any Spanish ability at all to figure out what this means in the literal sense. Putting it in context was, and still is the problem for me.

My first few days I shuffled through a few different interpretations and eventually figured out that simply nodding made them stop asking questions. Good enough for me. At that stage of my transition I just really wanted to be left alone while I figured out where I was, and to get the loaf of bread home to my hungry daughter.

For those who have not transitioned yet they arent asking if you want to buy just one ticket to something or if you got a parking ticket (but thats ok, because thats all you got ie: SOLO ticket?). They are asking if you will accept a simple printed receipt for the transaction, or if you need a factura (I think of it as receipt level 2) or a Credito Fiscal (level 3).

I think I just learned that the word Fiscal doubles for “prosecuting attorney” and I’ve begun to associate the two.

In the USA a receipt is a receipt. Companies make them any way they want to, and sequence them independently, in order to keep their records straight. If you loose one, you can reprint it. If you make a mistake, you can erase it and fix the problem. If you are audited and have some damaged or missing receipts odds are very good that you can fill voids with documentation of your transaction histories with your vendors, or other forms of legitimate evidence.

In El Salvador (and many other countries I have been told) records of transactions are not so simple.

The government issues individual serial numbers for all Facturas (receipts) and Creditos Fiscales (business transaction receipts).

These are essentaily serialized government forms, issued to each business for their use. If one is lost, damaged or issued in error, it must be accounted for in some manner.

Fortunately if such a form is returned to the government within the same month one does not have to fill out a second form explaning the error, but if for example, you realize an error too late, you must actually submit an explanation, in triplicate, God help you if you forgot to buy your own carbon paper. (and no…most forms here require three copies and do NOT self copy. DO buy carbon paper)

Please roll with me on this. I want you to picture El Salvador. I want you to picture what is often described as harmonious chaos by the happy, and lawlessness by the bitter. Picture a place where “technically” some guy painted pretty yellow lines in the street, but traffic lanes mean absolutely nothing. A place where the

What's Up El Salvador - American expat woman living in El Salvador, Central America

If I had to sum up business philosophy as I see it here, I would have to go with

“El Salvador…….We Keep a lid on it”

I participated in the international fair this week at CIFCO. All of my fears of being overwhelmed were totally unwarranted.

This is a sad thing to say, because there are plenty of reasons to feel and act in a very optimistic way. I get am frequently frustrated at how hard it is to get people to go ahead and roll with me in this.

The fair was fun, with a military exhibit that Emme LOVED

Several interesting local vendors such as a glass blower,

Plenty of industry standards

And US!

But there was also an atmosphere of conflict and control. Some examples include,

1) The o

2) Foot traffic was directed in the most awkward of manners, forcing everyone to use only one set of stairs. This was supposedly to force people to walk by each exhibit, but it had the opposite effect.

3) That the event seemed to be underpublicized. I understnad that normally each country would have it´s own small building, inthe impressive CIFCO comples. This year, only Taiwan meritted such a luxury, and nearly everyone else fit in the one grand hall we also occupied.

4) Our little CDYMYPE group we stood out, because we put out more bold branding. This brought negative attention from Hacienda, who appraoched us, and ONLY us, to ask, “No esta contribuendo?”, in an offended looking manner, and then proceeded to grill me on my reporting. inlcuding tisk tisk that my facturas for the event will be out of sequence Numerically/chronologically with my facturas (receipts) from the bar. (A distressingly retarded problem that is too complicated to explain to my USA friends).

5) The atmposhere was one that seemed to imply that selling things was kinda innapropriate, and somehow suspect.

The direction of the foot traffic prevented people from wandering freely, and seriously reduced both walking pleasure, and sales for everyone on the top floor. Technically the traffic control was intended to force everyone to walk by each vendor to get in and out, but this not how things played out.

I got through the rather depressing event by making myself happy giving away beer to anyone who came within earshot. We spread the love of ales, and challenged peoples tastebuds to enjoy more flavorfull brews, and sold EASILY at least 8 tee shirts and 12 beers over the course of the weeklong event. Yes it was that bad.

People told me that the event in past years has been great fun, with tons of people. Most complainers blamed the FMLN, though that makes no sense to me. OK, it make a little sense because I have seen some ill effects from odd leadership at the coffee consejo, and decided that communists dont know how to party.

I got no problem with their politics…. but they do NOT know how to throw an event that generates enthusiasm. Were you at the latest Barista competition? REFUCKINGDICULOUSLY SAD. How do you make the WBC Barista competition tense, unpleasant and boring?

Put an insecure, protectionist, control freak, that hates most of the leaders in the industry in charge, thats how. That person will keep a lid on it. NOTHING of interest will happen.

We made excellent contacts and had tons of great tastings, while just about covering the cost of being there. The poor CDYMYPE group suffered from the abusive control of foot traffic, and placement in an area full of industries unrelated to retail sales (people in our area were not in buying mode yet). My group also suffered from lack of agression, and a tendency to sit behind their little tables rather than opentheir mouths and speak.

Most of hte vendors near me showed up hours after the event began, and left hours early. I found this offensive, since it made me feel like an island in a sea of abandoned tables. On the final day I gave up, and also packed up early. The depression got to me, ironicly on the busiest day yet, and it was just time to go. We were literally the only ones open in the corner. At first we set up a minibar using the now empty tables…. but that lasted just a few minutes because the organization wanted to clean up the tables and was staring at us like we were freaks.

(The kind of freak that figures there are still thirsty people walking around, and I havent made my money back yet)

So this is a terrible review of the event, but its honest. El Salvador can do better by it´s business people. You do NOT need a lid on it. You need to blow the lid off. You need the set the roof on fire. Tightly controling every process, and making people uncomfortable for being agressive is a recipe for a slow and uncomfortable failure.

At the end of this lackluster event, I (and only I) was approached by security as I loaded up our gear. She was there to advise that I could not remove any product at all without a permit. The fact that I had carted the lions share of my gear out with me each night previously was meaningless. No signs, no bottles, no shirts, no coolers could leave without a permission slip.

Most of my neighboring vendors had long since carted their stuff out. I stood there deep in cost/benefit analysis. Standing there holding a roll of duct tape (litterally) next to some tall signs I considered kidnapping the diminutive tyrant and duct-taping her to the back of the wall. It would have been easy. My hand was already closer to her gun than hers was. We opted to sit down until she left and sneak the shit out one box at a time in team rotation. The guards at the back had not got the same memo….or maybe thought we were just on some kind of buying spree.

Next year let’s do this right. I am bringing Brew Ninjas to Rappel from the roof with their beer bottle nunchuks. Security wont stop ém either.

What's Up El Salvador - American expat woman living in El Salvador, Central America

We had the great opportunity to hike up from Planes de Renderos to Puerto del Diablo, and its a short, pleasant hike that I recommend you take if you get the chance. For those less comfortable walking around, you can also drive up to the hill and then hike up to the top.

Planes de Renderos is pleasant for a few reasons. Of course there are plenty of pupusas, vendors, and fun festivities. Planes is also on a hill above the city and features great views. A third plus is that being slightly higher also gives it a cooler and breezier climate which is nice to escape to. On top of that there are great areas for walking, picnics, and relaxing with family and friends.

Puerto del diablo looks like two protruding rocks/hills positioned next to each other, both of which can be hiked by anyone who is reasonably healthy. On a hot day you might work up a sweat, and if you havent walked up many flighte of stairs your back side might be a little tight the next day, but it is otherwise a short walk up.

The view is great. fromt he top you can see the ocean, the city, and several towns I cannot name. Buzzards circle on thermals both above and below onlookers, and valley the rocks face looks more idilic from above than I expected.

Overall it is a fun idea that most people can enjoy free of charge, like many other naturally gorgeous places here. Its a good family trip, or even a good date. I hope you enjoy the pictures I took. My camera did not seem to capture the experience very well, however an online search will find many better photographs to give you an idea.

What's Up El Salvador - American expat woman living in El Salvador, Central America

Either there is a trend, my medication finally kicked in, or my new glasses are working out well. I see many more colorful and interesting restaurants in San Salvador. Not exclusive (El Salvador values exclusivity more than the US), but fun, casual, stylish and entertaining. It seems to be a general trend. Perhaps the people with money in the country are lightening up a bit. (for a while there I wanted to steal that “Why so serious?” line.

Of course color isn’t everything, but it tends to be a signal. Modern design, a less reverent treatment of decor, less fear of standing out all signal what I perceive as a changing of the guard. This particular article focuses only on three restaurants but they are not the only ones. If you were left out, dont hate me! But do speak up. Send links even. I cannot possible see everything!

Cilantro is located on 1 calle poniente near Galerias shopping mall, and just a block up from Bistro Rustico. You will notice it immediately, because of the crimson steel, and cartoon superheroes frozen mid battle on the walls. The restaurant features one of my favorite things in the world. A small, focused menu, of relatively simple, well prepared food. In this case it is mexican food. The salsas present a good array of flavors, textures and approaches.

I did not initially understand the meat choices, so if you are not familiar already, ask the waiter to explain. On a side note, the staff seemed to understand the food well, and had recommendations ready for us (another favorite thing of mine….staff with opinions!)

On Masferrer and La Mascota, in a shiney new retail center you will see something pink. In fact you will see many pink things skulls lining the walls of another Mexican

What's Up El Salvador - American expat woman living in El Salvador, Central America

I am still a child when it comes to hearing an announcement that “The Circus is In Towne!!”.  Im giddy, because its true! Circo Suarez is in town.

We attended and what we saw was different in many of the ways you would expect a circus here to be.  Safety?  Not so much.  Rules?  Hmm? Animal rights activists?  Aniwhoo?

That said we enjoyed the show. I rekindled m love of the official circus skippy run (that run where the heels kick up overly high in a semi-bounding motion, and one hand waves in the air). I remained calm while obese tigers made a big show of snuggling up against the handler before jumping through hoops of fire.

If you are accustomed to Cirque de Soleil, Circus Vargas or one of the other larger scale traveling shows out there you might see this show as a little rough around the edges. As I sat watching I realized I have lived here a few years now, and have come to appreciate things with a bit less polish and fewer guarantees. It gives you the sense that you are watching a person, just like you, go out on a limb. For me, that is just as exciting as perfection.

For anyone local who can make it before they vanish (this article took a bit to post due to laziness) give it a go. The show is worth it. If you are new to the country and worry about going to a lower cost event held in a tent in a parking lot, run by a bunch of fly-by-night gypsies, just have a couple shots of whiskey and relax. time to find your own inner gypsy.

What's Up El Salvador - American expat woman living in El Salvador, Central America

Seriously awesome. Go, as soon as you can.

What's Up El Salvador - American expat woman living in El Salvador, Central America

Emme

What's Up El Salvador - American expat woman living in El Salvador, Central America

As you already know we are completely insane. So when we decided to sell everything we owned and move our family to El Salvador you weren’t blindsided. When we opened Brew Revolution, the ONLY Craft Brewery in El Salvador you may have gone a little bug eyed but you were still not that freaked out, but maybe a little bit jealous.

You are in luck! Cause we want to give you an opportunity to share in our madness and joy. We opened our little Craft Brewery in the surf village of Playa El Tunco on June 1st, 2012. The people of El Salvador love our beers! They love them too much! We have already outgrown our entire building and our fermentation capacity because of the early demand. (that’s a good thing!)

But what can do we do? It takes cash to expand our building and triple our fermentation capacity to keep up with demand. Well, we decided to take the Brew Revolution to the people! We are launching the only Kickstarter campaign for craft beer in Latin America.

WTF is kickstarter? Kickstarter.com is a “crowd-funding” website that allows creative, passionate people who have created something exciting and worthwhile to connect with creative, passionate people who want to support their product or service. In other words it lets YOU have a hand in spreading the Brew Revolution. You can become a “backer” of any project you find worthy of support and pledge any amount you want to support them. In return for your pledge you get cool rewards and, just as important, the warm fuzzy feeling jumping into the action and having a positive impact.

This is a historic event as this is the first time a company has used kickstarter.com or “crowdfunding” to fund a Craft Beer project in ALL of Latin America. 

We have gotten quite a bit of awesome praise and press so far but we need more help!

Forbes.com Chose our project as their

#1 gift for Foodies

for Christmas!

How do you do it? It’s easy:

1. Go to our kickstarter project right now, check it out and watch the video.
2. http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/brewrevolution/brew-revolution-el-salvadors-first-craft-beer-brew
3. Then, if you like it (Of course you do!) become a backer at whatever level you choose
4. Afterward, please take the time to share our project on all your social media sites like facebook, twitter, your blog etc. (Pretty please!)
5. Even more importantly take the time to tell your friends and family about it and ask them to check it out. This will help us out a lot!

Thank you 1 million times!

What's Up El Salvador - American expat woman living in El Salvador, Central America

I believe that my constant frustration with driving in El Salvador does not have as much to do with individuals making what seem to me to be nonsensical choices as it does with those patterns attachment (in my mind) to cultural differences. That its not the driving I am complaining about is evidenced by how personally enraged I become over movements that only cost me about 3 seconds in the long run.

Driving has become a lesson in sociology for me, and on many occasions a vibrant representation of  things that upset me much more than lost time.

Andy has begun dividing drivers into horribly insulting catagories, as it is easier to separate the drivers into teams than let the differences go. The categories are rude and innapropriate (like most of the things men say about other drivers). More on that later.

Here is a short list of behaviors I have trouble fully accepting.

1) Lanes do not exist, no matter what those pretty lines and dots imply. No matter how crowded a curve that has two lanes going around it, traffic will suddenly try to merge into the center around the curve causing a backup. I cannot explain this other than to speculate that it has something to do with “redondel theory”. There are many intersections with two lane turns, which I use on a regular basis. I dare not simply drive in my lane if there is anyone within 50 feet, as each and every driver will simultaneously use both lanes, bringing about the immediate need for hard braking. If everyone simply stuck to their lanes we could all fly around the corner together. But somehow it seems better and safer that everyone merge into the middle together.

2) The “Power Lane” in the redondel. When we arrived we heard people explain that the right lane of the redondel must yield to the left lane, but I refuse to accept that the center lane of the redondel actually has the right of way, especially if they are behind cars in the outward lanes. In application, everyone seems to believe it is true, and that the center lane is the “power lane”. This means ALOT to some people.

Any car to the left appears to have the right of way, hence, at each and every exit of most redondels there is a jumble of people who waited to the very very very last second to exit the power lane. They are now trying to make a 90 degree turn out of the center of the loop across 3 lanes, and normally with a look of righteous indignation, for every car that gets in his way. He held onto that power lane as long as he could, and now, still partially in it, is demanding his rightful take…of all other lanes in the loop, no matter the cost. I have seen people stop entire traffic loops for over ten minutes, while blocking three lanes to exit. Every american I know would just circle around if nobody let them in..since that only takes 45 seconds. But no such defeat is acceptable here.

In stark contrast I try to slip out of the redondel into the outermost (regarded as weakest and therefore normally empty!!!!  YAAAYYY!) lane as soon as physically possible. The only trouble with the outer lane is that people are normally walking, parked or re-upholstering furniture, or selling fireworks, or maybe live iguanas in this lane (not kidding).

On the other side of the entrance-exit of the redondel, specifically the ENTRANCE,  vehicles which technically have a free and open lane right in front of them (in fact they are already IN that lane according to the patterns painted on the ground), come to a complete stop and refuse to move forward in the lane they clearly own. WHY?  They are trying to move directly into the left (power) lane, rather than forward in the perfectly good, empty lane they already possess (at least according to this pretty lines painted on the ground). Not kidding.

As a believer in lane possession I go around to the right of the person who is trying to merge into the left lane, take his unused lane, use it to get up to speed, and then merge into the left lane he is still waiting for. It´s a confusing thing to watch. I’m normally not a “lane stealer”, but “redondel theory” makes no sense to me at all. I’m sure that people freak out every time I do this, but it seems both legal and sensible based on my understanding of traffic. And the lack of anybody using that whole section of roadway.

But back to Andy’s stereotypes,”Silver Prado” is one of Andy´s hated catagories. Some people might translate “Silver Prada” to “self important bastard” but that would be rude. There are plenty of “self important bastards” in BMW suvs, and Mitsubishis, and probably many Prado drivers who are perfectly kind people. They are not the worst of the lot, they just take advantage of normal courteous people in a way that offends me. I felt a need to introduce the category to provide context for #3. without the silver prado guy, its hard his counterpart.

3) My main complaint is…….Lack of Outrage. I have become outraged by the lack of outrage in many people over much of the rude, unsafe, and life threatening behavior I see daily on the road. One easy example of extreme bastardism is that on three separate occasions in the last month, I have watched cars leap-frog up Avenida Jerusalem in the most absurd (but successful) manner. this leapfrog is more extreme than you think if you havent seen Avenida Jerusalem.

During a recent reconstruction, MOP was thoughtful enough to place decorative obstacles every 200 feet or so in the “emergency/bike lane”, to prevent its use for other purposes. They apparently at least thought they should do something about things such as scooting ahead of the line of traffic by using the bike lane. Nothing odd there. But with barriers in the lane about every 200 feet, knowing what I know about Prado guy,  I still was not at all surprised to look in my rear-view mirror and observe a nice new car leap frogging along from the back of the long line of stopped traffic behind me. Yes… the car was going off the street into the bike lane, and then merging back into traffic just before each barrier. (?!).  I need to add…. with GREAT EASE! Its not that he was doing this that should alarm you. Its that nobody was making it even remotely difficult for him. You may already have guessed that I muttered a hardy, “Aw hell no.” under my breath. (yeah…I care too much about these things)

His behavior did not surprise or enrage me. What enraged me is that each time he came up to a barrier, he would stick his smoothly tanned arm out, honk his horn, and without any visible objection, be immediately allowed into the lane of traffic. He would then slip around back into the emercency/bike lane and speed up (say… all of 8 cars forward) to the next barrier, and repeat the process.

Who are these people who let these fuckers in? What are they doing? Andy calls them “the Mandes” (His wildly innapropriate group#2, an an odd partnership with the Prado guy).  Normally they are hard working men, who probably have less free time than the “silver Prado” group, but for whatever reason have some kind of mental block about standing up to a car with better paint than their own. Maybe a low self image? Maybe he knows this guys father blew away half his village a few years back and doesnt want any trouble…. I don’t know

But it goes farther. It seems to offend the people being taken advantage of to see a “Prado” foiled. As you may expect I am completely incapable of letting this guy in, and make great pains to position myself at his point of entry. Hell yes I block him. And with a psychotic smile on my face. Both Andy and I have received horrible taunts and shouts (SO WORTH IT, FYI), for blocking people who come up in the emergency lane, or who go otherwise commit hugely outrageous acts of “barging to the front”.  But from whom?  Not the Prado guys…..its the OTHER PEOPLE IN TRAFFIC!!! It seems the “Silver Prados” and the “Mandes” have formed a perverse alliance. they support each other. The guy in the little work truck does NOT like to see me acting a fool, making trouble with the nice guy in the BMW or Prado. Who the hell do I think I am!

Regardless of any of that, of course I held my ground, and looked right at him smiling. I not only held it at the first barrier he met me at, but I also blocked him until I thought I could make it to the next barrier before him, forcing him to either deal with me again, or get in line with everybody else. It was amazing how much this enraged not just him, but the other people around us. The person behind me let him in right in. In my mind she was compensating for my rude behavior. This is not a one time thing, this is every traffic jam I get in. Emergency lanes are for anybody who makes the inward decision that they are worth it. I would hate to be an emergency vehicle here….nobody and I mean NOBODY lets them in. hahaha.

4) Survival of the most rude and pushy?

If a driver is pushy enough, and in a rich enough looking car, even police officers bow down. They move cones to let them through where everyone else is stuck, allow them to drive on the wrong side and through barriers or accident scenes.

In one instance, I swear if my Spanish was better I would have asked a particular cop if he was going to run in to the coffee shop and get that lady (who he redid the cones for) a coffee, or just stand there looking useless. Not kidding. I mean, if she warranted readjusting everything in the middle of a nightmarish traffic jam, in front of everyone else who still had to wait, dont you agree she also deserved some coffee at least?

5) Compete lack of traffic enforcement (of use). There are sometraffic stops, but NOT for actual moving violations. Cops set up traps for illegal left turns, and roadblocks on highways. I think this is so that there is always a clear plan. I have seen cops shooting radar on the highway, but this is also as part of a team plan with a clear person in charge. But otherwise I mostly see traffic cops staring at traffic jams, watching all kinds of right of way violations and other unsafe movements while taking no action whatsoever. I have come to believe they actually have no authority to make their own independent observations or decisions. They must act solely as part of a predetermined action, not in response to observed behavior?

This of course is a huge and emotional topic for me, since as a former cop I have strong opinions about demanding more from officers and empowering them to act. I get mad seeing someone in a position of authority to improve a situation stand idly by, or worse, assist some dickweed in skirting the rules simply based on evidence of social status. That’s the opposite of both public safety, and justice.

It pisses me off. Traffc enforcement is a great equalizer in most situations. Its a chance to reach out and touch literally everybody on the road. It would be better to have no traffic officers visible than have them present and inactive. Just watching and permitting outrageous violations.

6) A huge difference for a North American driver…I cannot stress enough … Traffic flow is not the highest priority. If someone must stop to talk to a friend on the side of the road, there is no expectation that they pull over. There is an expectation that traffic will go around. This is because his conversation actually is more important than the flow of traffic. If someone is hungry and wants to eat lunch on the road, they will do just that. Eating lunch in the right lane? Go ahead. Traffic is expected to go around. Complainers are a bunch or rude jerks who think they are too good to swerve a bit to let a man eat lunch in peace. Not kidding.

I have accepted this difference to a certain extent. I have realized that it actually is a difference in priorities, and it irritates me less because it seems to apply accross the board more or less. (though it causes more traffic collisions and jams than anything else on the list, at least it is equal opportunity.

7) Security forces, and their complete disregard for human life. Nothing is more unsafe here than a bunch of rich people and their outrageously poorly trained security guards. Around the wealthier schools, most mornings, you can witness some outrageous driving behaviors. SUV caravans full of armed men speeding on the wrong side of the road, apparently to drop off one important child or another. This can only exist in a place where there is NO justice for kids that these guys run over. Yes…I have heard that they need to blast through or risk getting trapped by someone who wants to kidnap this kid. Whatever. I don’t are about that kid. I care about my kid. I would hope that other Salvadoran families also valule their own children over those of the upper crust, but somehow I don’t think they do, because the American School has not been burned down yet.

I’ve had them blast within inches of my own daughter (a child far more important to me than these strangers) at insane speeds, only to screech to a halt, jump out in unison, carefully the backpack on their male teenage charge, who then sauntered in without the slightest notice. The security guys have ONE job. Keeping this little bastard out of harms way. Cool. Can´t do that without pretending nobody else exists? And how is it that school security just watches calmly and says nothing?

I know its pointless to talk with school security, who wont even encourage mothers who are triple parked blocking the entire street to get a move on. The priority seems to be keeping your job, NOT being good at it, and prevention of fatal accidents is not what they are trained to do. I’m convinced the core is that people have way to much respect for class. People also have way too much respect for testosterone. They overestimate it, and treat it like gold.

To all the offended, please dont get to angry if you either drive a silver Prado or would rather let them in than get into a fistfight. I’m not mad at you personally. I’m an old lady on the verge of loosing my mind, so yes, I WOULD rather get into a fistfight than say nothing. Also, if you are rich…I am probably not talking about you, I do not hate rich people. I love them and they generally do alot of good for the world. Most people reading this know exactly who I am talking about though. If I am talking about you, well…..see you in the emergency lane.

Don’t get me wrong,  I’ll let people in ALL DAY. People trying to merge from other streets, people who want to change lanes, even people in Prados who want to change lanes, I will let them in. Sometimes you have to pass the slow people. Sometimes people struggle to get ahead, and who should judge? But there has to be some line that you don’t cross, where in the absence of enforcement, people at least express disapproval in some manner?

For all the complaining, guess what? I still like driving here better than the USA. Its true! I may not understand the rules, and I may object to half of them, but fighting your way into a redondel (on most days) beats endless red lights, and how often do you really get to see cops fetch coffee for old ladies stuck in traffic int he USA? (ok..he didn’t fetch the coffee).

End rant. Dont hate. Im just complaining about things I cannot control or understand. Expats do that!

What's Up El Salvador - American expat woman living in El Salvador, Central America

Ready to Rumble

Lucha Libre in El Salvador!

I am a huge fan of craziness so as you might expect I could not stay away from Salvadoran Lucha Libre forever. The sheer madness of it, the theatricality, the outlandish characters, make it something that everyone should attend at least once.

Not in Las Vegas.  But in a downtown parking garage in front of two burned out cars. This arena is what my sons would describe as “legit”.

Arena Gladiadores is located in El Centro, across from Parque San Jose. This is near 1A Calle Oriente and 8a Avenida Norte. We took Juan Pablo 2, made a right on 8a Ave, and a right on 1a Calle. This puts you in front of the park, where you can see the centro commerical San Jose on the right across from the park.

More claustrphobic careful people would not feel comfortable in the traffic in the Centro, but we did. Traffic is challenging, and parking as difficult. I recommend a taxi if you have the money, or going a little early to find a place to park. That said we will go again, and we will probably drive, and everything will be fine.

Know that for the numbered streets, they count down the odd numbers, and then up the even numbers. If you turn where you think 8th is based on where 9th is, you will end up driving through the market stands at the pace of the grandma walking in front of you. Wait until you actually see 8a.

Another helpful hint is that the signage for the garage is not very visible by gringo standards. In retrospect I should have seen it by my 6th pass by. Once you find the park, you will see a well lit commercial center with loud music and lots of food establishments. This is the building under which the fight will take place.

You sir, are shorter than I!

Once you are in, you will be glad you went through the aggrivation of getting there. If you have one living cell in your enthusiasm column you will enjoy this. By the time we left I wanted to BE a Luchadora.

The fact that you are in a parking garage makes it better. The imperfections in the costumes and in physiques of some of the players only make it a truer metaphor for the life you wont admit you wish you lived.

Lucha Libre

No joke, I had an absolute blast, and so did my daughter. I was a little worried at first. The first group up was not as full blown awesome hilarious as I require for the amount of trouble parking. But it turned out they were just getting warmed up. My pictures and video do not give these guys justice. Sure, some of them are sporting a spare tire, but they are a whole lot more athletic than they look at first, and I was impressed seeing these guys jump up and grab their opponet by the neck….with their feet.

These guys fly through the air, smash into the ground and attack each other in the audience without checking to see if you thought to move out of the way. Its awesome! My daughter got hit twice….and loved every minute!

The shows are $2.00 per ticket, and they start at 5:30, almost every Sunday. Check the Schedule with Arena Gladiadores. This coming week the 9th they will be rocking their usual Arena, but the 16th they will out of town, invading Quetzaltepeque. On the 23rd, and 25th they will spreading the Christmas Fear!!! What better way to let Santa know you are nice. At least nicer then these guys! If you have kids between 5 and 12 they will LOVE it. There are even some kids that are starting to sport moves of their own.

So come on down the Centro and smell what Bondy, El Vagabond, El Recyclador and Olympico are cooking. It´s salty, and you will like it more than you want to admit. Seriously.

I got a pic with Bondy. Apparently he is a Rudo…that means he is evil. I love how Lucha breaks it down like that. LIfe should be this easy

What's Up El Salvador - American expat woman living in El Salvador, Central America

I dont often get to go out with Andy. Our last “date” was more than a year ago, so when our daughter recieved an invitation to spend the night at a friend´s beach house we were not going to stay indoors.

Having been in San Salvador for over a year we still have no clue about the nightlife, or where to go see live music, but I remembered a place I was really curious about! Circo! A CIRCUS themed bar? Count me in!

For those of you who already know me, this will be no surprise. If you tell me abot a circus themed bar, my mental picture is something so insane as to be borderline offensive.

I see tightrope walkers passing over the tables, and chefs breathing fire onto the food. I see trained bears tending the bathrooms, and waitresses with exotic golden masks, delivering food while balancing in pointe shoes.

You named the place Circo …

Right?

 Well it turns out, there aren´t any trained bears at all. Not one.

I shook off the dissapointment quickly and took a seat on a gold lame´couch. One of my lifelone goals was to take a seat on a gold lame´couch, so I felt alot better. The interior of CIRCO is fun. The bar is layed out in a way that includes several semi-seperate areas, filled mostly with smaller semi-seperate conversation pits. There are also regular tables, but the focus seems to be on catering to groups of about 6-8 well off young adults who want to talk in a big circle.

The design seems to work. I watched the groups function very comfortably in their spaces. Layout plays a huge role in how people enjoy their evening. On this Saturday night I did  not see people looking uncomfortable, and no matter what bar I go to I normally see a few.

There are no televisions in Circo. I appreciate this. If I go to  bar with you, I want to pretend to talk to you. Putting on a TV is one way of making adult men comfortable in a crowd, but I’m glad they did not cave to this common demand. If it was my world, I might have projected a loop of the last several Cirque du Soleil shows onto the draped curtains for effect, just to pull a little more Circus into the tent, but that´s just me.

The live music I enjoyed was a Conservative Rock and Roll Cover-band, featuring very competent musicians, playing a mix of Latin and American pop-rock. I accepted the fact that I could talk through their set without loosing track of what I was saying early on.

This is not an easy thing for me to accept. When I see a band take the stage I am hoping and wishing to be swept away, offended, impressed, inspired, or otherwise messed with. But I realized the place is not designed to feature performances themselves so much, as to present a great place to hang out and drink and talk. I want to be sure to clarify that the musicians were quite good. They played a clean, tight set, and they played it by the rules.

Among other things, I enjoyed a properly served Zacapa Centenario with a single cigarette the very very professional waitress found for me. The service at Circo is excellent. The staff is attentive, but not over-bearing. They quickly snatch up any crumb on the table, but dont stare at you while you eat. If they see anyone pull out a cigarette they are there with a lighter before being requested.

Trained bears dont do that as well.

 All in all, it is a great place to go out and have a good time with friends. Its fun, safe, has excellent service, a good small menu of food, and they even host tastings of fine liquors, of which they have a selection.

 The evening ended when I heard a shockingly clean rendition of Red Hor Chilli Peppers “Give it Away”, and realized that one can actually play that song without moving, which was a revelation I did not want to have. I so badly did not want to have that revelation that I had to grab Andy and mosh my way out of there.

It was pure luck that prevented me from breaking an ankle or destroying my last pair of stiletto heels. Perhaps the Zacapa feuled my desire to see a hell of alot more clowning going on. I am 45 after all. And still the first to get thrown out of the club! (just kidding…they did not throw me out. I just got alot of offended looks, which is not nearly as fun)

Circo features a regular schedule of ladies nights, live music and is a good bet for a pleasant evening out! I recommend a trip, but bring your own clowns and plenty of cash. This is a classy joint.

What's Up El Salvador - American expat woman living in El Salvador, Central America